Johnny (it_cant_be_done) wrote,
Johnny
it_cant_be_done

Waving flares in the air

Can't say I'm thrilled about everything lately but I can't pretend that I'm completely innocent.... Now it's just a matter of balancing shit out. I had an anxiety attack last week, the kind I haven't had in years. I felt helpless, it took a lot of strength to deal with my life back then but I learned how to manage it. I had a few "go to" tricks that always helped me calm down. This time it's different, I don't have a best friend to confide in, I don't have the gym, I don't have my group of broken hearted friends, I can't depend on marge, I don't wanna ALWAYS be drunk(just most of the time), the park isn't the same, meaningless sex and random hook ups would only make it worse, and I'm just to weak. I'm tired, I've spent to long carrying the load and I just can't do it alone anymore.

I need to make some tough decisions. Climb out of this hole I've put myself in and let the real me, Out.

Tags: via ljapp
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